Last time I posted a blog my brother was 3 weeks into his diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. He lost that battle 2 days ago and went to be with Jesus. His cancer took him quickly and he never was able to even start chemo because it was so advanced. It has been a tough 7 weeks and the last week was the toughest. He never was in much pain, but watching his body slowly deteriorate from starvation was grueling. He was such a wonderful brother and I will miss him terribly. His three children spent the last week with him and we all shared our time with him so he would never be alone. He never complained and always gave us a smile when he opened his eyes. His wife, Carol, has never left his side with love and support. He was only 61 and he died 2 weeks shy of his 62nd birthday and 34th wedding anniversary.
It hurts to lose people we love and that are such an important part of our life. I do not know what I would do without my faith and believing that God loves me and will never leave me. His grace has been sufficient for each day and I know I will get through this because I have Him. My brother is in heaven and will never suffer or be in pain again. The best thing is, I am going to see him again.
I have never been touched by the evilness of cancer and the pain that it causes. There is no history of cancer in my family and my brother did not drink or smoke and was a very healthy male. He loved the outdoors and liked to canoe and ride his motorcycle. He was a wonderful father, husband, grandpa, and brother. Cancer got a hold of him and destroyed his life here on earth. It is a hard cancer to detect until it is too late. It has been so hard for us and he is my only sibling. My parents are old and this has been difficult for them. I never expected to lose my brother as he is 2 years younger and I thought we would grow old together.
Life is not fair and I must go on. It is painful, but I know in time the pain will not be so intense. Through pain and suffering I grow and it softens my heart to have more compassion for my grieving clients and friends. Through the struggle I become stronger and I know God will use my experience to help others. God never will let me go and my faith continues to grow as I trust and obey Him through life. I would not trade my relationship with Him for anything. He is my hope and my salvation.
Vickie Parker, MFT
vickiemft.com, online counseling