Four Simple Ways to Build Intimacy  in Marriage

Posted By on Aug 28, 2013 |


For couples, there are four times during the day that can influence what kind of day we have: 1. when we see each other in the morning when we wake up, 2. when we leave for work, 3. when we arrive home, and 4. when we say goodnight.

1. The way we greet our spouse the first 60 seconds in the morning can set the tone for the day. Greet them with warm, loving body language and words. Let them know you are glad to see them by asking how their night was and if they slept well? Give them a welcoming smile, even if you are barely awake yourself. A warm embrace can speak volumes to them. Life is hard sometimes and when we wake up to a partner that sends us messages that we are loved and they are glad we are in their lives, it can mean so much.

For my husband and I, whoever gets up first, fixes the coffee and that is always nice. especially if I am up last!

2. How do we say goodbye to our spouse when we are parting for the day? Giving our partner a kiss that says I love you and I will miss you today feels very good. A warm embrace and loving words helps with needed assurance that we will meet again soon and that we are loved and valued. This leaves us with positive thoughts that will help us through the day, especially if it is a tough one.

3. Greeting our partner, when we meet again, after the work day is done, sets the tone for the evening. If you or your partner have had a rough day, it is hard to be positive when you come together again. Put your day aside, just for 60 seconds and embrace each other and let each other know that you are glad to see them. If you need time to unwind, let your partner know how long you need and assure them you want to talk about their day when you have had a chance to clear your mind. My husband and I like to set down and enjoy a glass of wine together and just chat about our day before dinner. Our children are gone and we have the opportunity now to do that. If your children are still at home and they are small, it will take a plan to figure out how you can do that. The important thing is to validate your partner and let them know you care.

4. Saying good night after the end of the day can influence how well we rest through the night. Husbands, for women, foreplay starts in the morning and if husbands have shown their wives, throughout the day, that they are loved and valued, saying goodnight will be a positive experience. Wives, If you have shown your husband honor and respect through the day, husbands will be more considerate of your needs.

We get so busy in our lives and it becomes easy to get caught up in the urgent things and we forget about the important small things. Making a conscious effort to be aware of how we greet and say goodbye to each other can make the difference between a good day and a bad day.

Marriage takes work and applying these 4 simple things daily, will have lasting results in building intimate relationships.

Vickie Parker, LMFT
Online counseling
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