Last weekend we went to Bend, Oregon to watch our grandson, Jared, play in a baseball tournament. He played against 41 other teams from Oregon and Washington. We had so much fun watching him play. We camped at Tumalo State Park with our son’s family and his wife’s parents, so Jared had two sets of grand parents cheering him on. By the end of his 5th game they were on top and after the 7th game they won the tournament. Talk about being excited. My husband lost his voice yelling so much. It was such a fun experience. We left Bend at 8:30 Monday evening and did not get home until 1:30 AM and up early for work on Tuesday. That can be pretty hard on a 64-year-old grandma, but it was worth every minute.
Tried to catch up on sleep all week and then Thursday afternoon my sister-in-law called and said my brother had just been admitted to the hospital. He had not kept any food down since Monday. The CT Scan showed a large tumor in the pancreatic area and there was total blockage into his small intestine. Waiting for the biopsy now.
My brother is a healthy 62-year-old that is looking forward to retirement and kicking back and enjoying life after working so hard for many years. It seems so unfair and I want to grow old with him. I am praying for him and hoping for a miracle.
I have lost all my grand parents, but have never lost someone this close to me. He is my only sibling and I want him to be okay. My heart is breaking, but I must stay strong for him and my family. My dad is 87 and my mom is 82 and they need me to be healthy.
I am struggling with so many feelings and I know I will get through this, but it sure hurts. I want to run away from the pain, but I can’t. I must face it and believe that God’s grace is sufficient for all of us. This will be a test of my faith and although I have been tested before, this could be the toughest. Surrendering to God’s will is a battle, and I wish I could not have the pain, but I know that with pain comes growth and peace.
This life is not the final place and I am just a passing through. Oh, how I yearn for heaven and the absence of pain and suffering. Thank you, Jesus, for dying for me and providing the way to eternal life and the joy of seeing you face to face and being reunited with loved ones.
Vickie Parker, LMFT
vickiemft.com, Online Counseling